DYING BROKE: Frugality OR Freedom

Posted on March 5, 2025 by Dr. David Edward Marcinko MBA MEd CMP™

By Rick Kahler CFP™

http://www.KahlerFinancial.com

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Dying Broke. It’s a goal for those retirees who embrace the idea of spending their hard-earned wealth during their lifetimes. Their aim is to enjoy the fruits of their labor while they can and spend the last penny just as they take their last breath. The concept feels both pragmatic and poetic.

But here’s the twist: While the concept may conjure images of lavish spending sprees and exotic vacations, that’s rarely what I see in practice. Many of my clients who identify as Die Brokers aren’t recklessly burning through their wealth. In fact, the opposite is often true.

This is because their approach to spending and giving is shaped by a lifetime of frugal money scripts that are incredibly hard to shake. Many Boomers grew up with financial uncertainty, learning to save and sacrifice to protect themselves and their families. Even after decades of financial success, those habits don’t just disappear. The idea of “spending down” their wealth, even intentionally, feels unnatural and irresponsible. There is an internal tug-of-war between their stated desire to enjoy their wealth and their deeply rooted fear of running out.

This paradox can significantly affect retirees’ financial planning. While Die Brokers may express a strong commitment to living fully, their money behavior often reveals a need for reassurance that their money will last for their lifetime.

For many Boomers, including myself, those frugal money scripts have served us well for decades. They’ve provided financial stability and peace of mind. But in this stage of life, they can also hold us back from experiencing the freedom we’ve worked so hard to achieve—especially in the time we have left when we can still physically enjoy it. The challenge is finding balance, honoring the values that got us here while allowing ourselves permission to live fully.

Shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance is no small feat.

Here are four ways to start turning those old money scripts into permission to spend and give intentionally:

  1. Reframe wealth as a tool rather than a safety net. Recognize that money is about opportunity as well as security. Spending with intention can bring joy and meaning, whether it’s funding a family trip, supporting a cause, or splurging on a bucket list item.
  2. Work with your financial advisor to analyze your retirement spending and the probability of running out of money. The amount they suggest you can spend may surprise you—it’s often far higher than your frugal money scripts would lead you to believe.
  3. Experiment with incremental giving. If parting with your wealth feels daunting, start small. Gift modest amounts to family, friends, or charities and notice how it feels. Seeing the immediate impact of your generosity can help ease the transition and loosen the grip of those old money scripts.
  4. Set intentional spending goals instead of vaguely aiming to “enjoy your wealth.” Identify specific ways you want to use your money to enhance your life or the lives of others. Having a clear plan can turn spending into a meaningful act rather than an exercise in guilt.

For many of us, the Die Broke mentality is not about recklessness or extravagance. It’s about learning to let go. Despite our bold talk of spending down to the last penny, most of us will likely leave behind more than we planned. And maybe that’s just fine—especially for our kids and grand kids. Perhaps being a Die Broker is really about giving ourselves permission to live with intention, to savor what we’ve built, and to enjoy living to the fullest the rich life our frugality has helped provide.

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On Frugality and Money

Posted on July 11, 2018 by Dr. David Edward Marcinko MBA MEd CMP™

The Essential Money Survival Skill

By Rick Kahler CFP®

Someone recently asked me to share my number-one financial tip that would make the greatest impact on a person’s financial well-being. For someone who can speak for hours on the topic, that’s a daunting task. I wanted to quote the late Dick Wagner’s advice to “Spend less, save more, and don’t do anything stupid,” but that sentence contains three tips.

I had to pick one and chose “spend less.” The greatest common denominator of financial success is not talent, IQ, career choices, income, inheritance, investment choices, being in the right place at the right time, or luck. It’s frugality.

Someone who has mastered the art of frugality has an essential survival skill. Their ability to save, to squirrel away money in times of prosperity, enables them to roll with almost any financial calamity. They tend to master their money rather than let money master them.

Frugal people find saving somewhat of a game. They get high off of building savings and finding bargains. They clip coupons, shop sales, and buy generic store brands. They buy used everything whenever possible, especially large ticket items like cars, appliances, and furniture. They do as much home maintenance themselves as is prudent. They rent things they won’t use much rather than buy. They don’t smoke, drink in excess, or do recreational drugs. They cook at home a lot. They pay off credit cards monthly, take on debt carefully, and pay down debt ahead of time, if possible. They find affordable ways to do the things they enjoy.

As frugal people accumulate wealth, they don’t give up their thrifty habits. As an example, I have a client who chose to vacation in Ireland this year. Why? It was a bargain. He got $700 roundtrip tickets by snagging a one-day sale on American Airlines.

Even though the external trappings of frugality are easy to spot, becoming frugal is really an inside job. If you aren’t naturally a saver, it’s not easy to just decide to become frugal. Changing to thrifty habits because you know you “should” doesn’t work any better than just deciding to lose 20 or 60 pounds does. Lifestyle shifts like this take something more than cognition.

To develop frugality you need to change your mindset about and your relationship with money. How do you do that? With intention, persistence, humility, patience, and curiosity.

There are many ways to begin changing your money mindset. I recommend starting with discovering the subconscious beliefs you have about money and how it works. I call these money scripts and have written about them in my books and blog.

Next, you may want to uncover the roots of those money scripts. This involves taking a look at how money was viewed in your family growing up and chronicling the positive and negative life events that have happened in your life. We help clients do this with two exercises called the Money Atom and the Money Egg. Slowly you will see themes emerge that completely explain why frugality is not your strong suit. This understanding is the foundation for change.

It is also valuable to find an accountability partner, someone who is frugal themselves, to be a mentor. This is similar to the Alcoholics Anonymous program’s recommendation to find a sponsor. It’s a tried and true model that produces results. Another option is to look for a financial coach or therapist (check at financialtherapyassociation.org) in your area or available to meet with you online.

Assessment

Becoming frugal doesn’t mean becoming a miser or depriving yourself. It means using your money thoughtfully to support the life you want to live. And it is a mindset you can learn.

Conclusion

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