DYING BROKE: Frugality OR Freedom

By Rick Kahler CFP™

http://www.KahlerFinancial.com

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Dying Broke. It’s a goal for those retirees who embrace the idea of spending their hard-earned wealth during their lifetimes. Their aim is to enjoy the fruits of their labor while they can and spend the last penny just as they take their last breath. The concept feels both pragmatic and poetic.

But here’s the twist: While the concept may conjure images of lavish spending sprees and exotic vacations, that’s rarely what I see in practice. Many of my clients who identify as Die Brokers aren’t recklessly burning through their wealth. In fact, the opposite is often true.

This is because their approach to spending and giving is shaped by a lifetime of frugal money scripts that are incredibly hard to shake. Many Boomers grew up with financial uncertainty, learning to save and sacrifice to protect themselves and their families. Even after decades of financial success, those habits don’t just disappear. The idea of “spending down” their wealth, even intentionally, feels unnatural and irresponsible. There is an internal tug-of-war between their stated desire to enjoy their wealth and their deeply rooted fear of running out.

This paradox can significantly affect retirees’ financial planning. While Die Brokers may express a strong commitment to living fully, their money behavior often reveals a need for reassurance that their money will last for their lifetime.

For many Boomers, including myself, those frugal money scripts have served us well for decades. They’ve provided financial stability and peace of mind. But in this stage of life, they can also hold us back from experiencing the freedom we’ve worked so hard to achieve—especially in the time we have left when we can still physically enjoy it. The challenge is finding balance, honoring the values that got us here while allowing ourselves permission to live fully.

Shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance is no small feat.

Here are four ways to start turning those old money scripts into permission to spend and give intentionally:

  1. Reframe wealth as a tool rather than a safety net. Recognize that money is about opportunity as well as security. Spending with intention can bring joy and meaning, whether it’s funding a family trip, supporting a cause, or splurging on a bucket list item.
  2. Work with your financial advisor to analyze your retirement spending and the probability of running out of money. The amount they suggest you can spend may surprise you—it’s often far higher than your frugal money scripts would lead you to believe.
  3. Experiment with incremental giving. If parting with your wealth feels daunting, start small. Gift modest amounts to family, friends, or charities and notice how it feels. Seeing the immediate impact of your generosity can help ease the transition and loosen the grip of those old money scripts.
  4. Set intentional spending goals instead of vaguely aiming to “enjoy your wealth.” Identify specific ways you want to use your money to enhance your life or the lives of others. Having a clear plan can turn spending into a meaningful act rather than an exercise in guilt.

For many of us, the Die Broke mentality is not about recklessness or extravagance. It’s about learning to let go. Despite our bold talk of spending down to the last penny, most of us will likely leave behind more than we planned. And maybe that’s just fine—especially for our kids and grand kids. Perhaps being a Die Broker is really about giving ourselves permission to live with intention, to savor what we’ve built, and to enjoy living to the fullest the rich life our frugality has helped provide.

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The “Die-Brokers”

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Results of an HBSC Survey

By Rick Kahler CFP® http://www.KahlerFinancial.com

Rick Kahler CFP

In recent ME-P columns I reported on a survey done by the financial services company HBSC that found only 59% of US parents intend to leave their children an inheritance, the lowest of the 15 nations in the survey. The fact the US is last came as no surprise to me. What did surprise me was that 59% seemed high.

My Average Clients

My average client is someone who has saved over one million dollars. I am guessing that less than 2% of them have any intention or goal of constraining their current lifestyle in order to maximize their kids’ inheritance. Consuming their last penny of savings about the time they take that last breath is their spending plan of choice. There is even a name for these folks: “Die Brokers.”

If they did a good job of planning for retirement, however, most Die Brokers will leave something behind. Almost all of these I work with intend to divide what remains equally among their children. The point is that leaving an inheritance just isn’t a priority or a goal that constrains their current spending. As a side note, I rarely see any intention to leave any significant portion of their estate to charity.

The Survey

Why did the survey find such a high number of parents who intend on leaving their kids an inheritance, as compared to my observations that almost none intend to? My experience is that most people have a money script of, “Good parents should leave something to their children.” It is similar to another money script of, “Good parents should pay for their children’s college education.” These are seen as things “good” parents do. My hunch is that when most respondents answered the survey question, they let their money script do the talking, rather than their true intention.

The Explanation

Still, this does not explain why US parents intend to leave their children less than parents in any other country. One reason could be that more parents in other countries have money scripts that it’s necessary to leave their kids an inheritance.

One of the most common themes among my affluent clients is a desire to see their children “make it on their own.” Over 90 percent of these clients are first-generation wealth builders, meaning they didn’t inherit their money but accumulated it from saving, investing, or building a business. They value hard work and frugality and feel leaving a large inheritance to a child is more hurtful than helpful.

First Generation Millionaires

Many of these first-generation millionaires also feel accumulating wealth in the US is very attainable with hard work, discipline, and frugality. This is not the case worldwide. In many countries, it doesn’t matter how hard you work or how frugal you are, confiscatory taxes and oppressive regulations insure that those people not fortunate enough to be born into money will never have a chance to become affluent. The only way to have a comfortable net worth in many countries is to either inherit it or work for the government.

Sadly, the US is closer to adopting a model that makes accumulating wealth increasingly difficult. I can’t name a politician currently campaigning who advocates lowering income taxes on wealth builders. Yet I can name scores who are running on increasing taxes on “the rich.”

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Assessment

Affluent parents in the US may soon begin to feel that, without an inheritance, their children may never have the means to get ahead. If more US parents begin believing this, we will probably see increasing numbers intending to leave money to their kids. The money script of “Good parents should leave something to their children” might become the truth.

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