CHRISTMAS EVE GIFTS: Keeping Up with the Jones

Posted on December 24, 2024 by Dr. David Edward Marcinko MBA MEd CMP™

Feeling the Pressure to “Give”

By Rick Kahler MS CFP®

Are you feeling any pressure this Christmas season to give, give, give? Keeping up with the Joneses all year is hard enough. It gets even worse during the holidays, when we feel pressured to keep up, not just with the Joneses, but also with the expectations others, and ourselves, put on Santa Claus.

Some Christmas shoppers overspend on gifts and end up paying off credit card bills for months. Others drive themselves crazy trying to find exactly the right gifts for the right people. Others hate the whole idea of shopping so much that they find it hard to enjoy the season.

If you fit into any of these categories, the cause may be your money scripts. The unconscious beliefs about money that we all hold are especially likely to kick in this time of year. We are surrounded by expectations and pressures about “ideal” holiday celebrations with the perfect gifts, the perfect decorations, and the perfect foods. As a result, we are especially vulnerable to making money decisions blindly in response to beliefs we don’t even realize we hold.

You may be one of those who regularly end up spending significantly more on gifts than you intended to. You may impulsively buy additional, unbudgeted gifts for people you’ve already bought presents for. You may not even try to set holiday spending limits. You may overspend on things for yourself while you’re Christmas shopping.

  • If any of these are true for you, you may have some unconscious beliefs about money that drive you to overspend. See whether any of the following money scripts might fit for you:
  • “The more you spend, the more love you show.”
  • “It takes the joy out of giving if you pinch pennies.”
  • “It’s the season for giving lavishly, not for being a Scrooge.”
  • “If I don’t buy just the right gifts, people won’t like or respect me.”
  • “I need to give my kids more than I got when I was a child.”
  • “More gifts and more spending will make the holidays okay (and make my guilt go away).”
  • “It’s tradition. Everyone expects (whatever) from me.”
  • “I do so much for everyone else; I deserve something for myself, too.”

It’s also possible you may go to the opposite extreme and be a Grinch when it comes to the holidays. If you hate Christmas shopping, grumble about the holiday being so commercialized, and look forward to January, it’s possible you may hold some money scripts that drive you to underspend. Your beliefs may be similar to the following:

  • “It’s wrong to spend money except on necessities.”
  • “You aren’t a spiritual or religious person if you spend too much money.”
  • “Christmas shouldn’t be about money.”
  • “It’s wrong to spend money on luxuries when poor people are suffering.”
  • “It isn’t good for kids to get too much.”
  • “My kids shouldn’t have more than I had when I was a child.”

Christmas Wreath

If you’d like to change some aspects of what you do and how you feel about holiday spending, you may find it useful to take a closer look at your own beliefs about the season. One way to begin this is to quickly write answers (short statements are best) to the following questions: What do I believe about money and each of the following? Christmas? Family celebrations? Presents? Giving? Spending? Receiving?

Assessment

You may uncover some money scripts similar to the ones listed above. Learning why you tend to overspend or under spend this time of year won’t instantly change what you do. Yet understanding what is behind your pattern of holiday spending is an important way to start becoming a more conscious Christmas shopper.

Conclusion

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Risk Management, Liability Insurance, and Asset Protection Strategies for Doctors and Advisors: Best Practices from Leading Consultants and Certified Medical Planners™8Comprehensive Financial Planning Strategies for Doctors and Advisors: Best Practices from Leading Consultants and Certified Medical Planners™

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More on “income inequality” and financial planning

Posted on October 17, 2022 by Dr. David Edward Marcinko MBA MEd CMP™

“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer”

By Rick Kahler CFP®

One of the pillars of my profession of financial planning and counseling is to help people get richer. For many people, this statement might evoke the idea of “income inequality” as summed up by the phrase “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” This is a common money script around a topic that evokes a lot of difficult emotion.

Of course, there are people who have wealth that tends to increase over time. This includes some who inherit vast wealth and others who achieve wealth through business ownership or creative successes. It also includes those who live on less than they make, invest the difference, and make sound investment decisions with the money they have saved.

Goals of financial planning

Regardless of the economic class people start out in, one of the goals of financial planning is to help them expand their lifestyles—in in other words, to get richer. We help them build wealth so they can afford to send their children to college, or can take care of themselves in old age, or can someday not have to work for an income. We help the poor to become middle class, the middle class to become affluent, the affluent to become rich, and the rich to become richer.

When I frame “the rich getting richer” in that manner, people typically respond, “I never thought of it that way.” It contradicts the popular interpretation that the way the rich get richer is by taking from the poor, hence “the poor get poorer.”

Certainly it’s true that some rich people and companies do exploit the poor or try to influence legislation in their own interests. The artificially high prices they charge can be one factor in causing the poor to get poorer. Examples of this might include the secondary educational system as well as industries where excessive regulations limit competition.

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Reasons

However, just as most of the rich don’t get richer by exploiting the poor, most of the poor don’t get poorer by being exploited by the rich. Some get poorer because they lack education or don’t know how to access help. Some get poorer by events out of their control, such as job layoffs, serious illnesses, or cultural, racial, or sexual discrimination. There are many reasons.

Some get poorer through choosing careers with little future, not taking care of their health, or making poor money decisions such as financially enabling children. Others are caught up in destructive behaviors like addictions or compulsive gambling. A few even choose poverty for religious or philosophical reasons.

Complex

As with many things, income inequality is complex.

For example, some people choose to take large risks that could result in their becoming very rich or very poor.

Others choose the security of a steady paycheck. There could ultimately be a huge wealth gap between the entrepreneur who hits it big and the more conservative person who wants to play it safe. Does that mean the gap is inherently bad, or that the risk-taker doesn’t deserve the rewards of success?

Certainly, the risk-taker could have ended up far worse than the person who played it safe. Does that make one right and the other wrong? I don’t believe so.

Assessment

Just as with other money scripts, “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer” is true in some circumstances. At other times, the truth can be that “the rich get poorer and the poor get richer.” It can also be true (think of the 2008 economic crash) that “the rich get poorer and the poor get poorer.” And the final truth—one that financial planners work toward—is to help “the rich get richer and the poor get richer.”

Conclusion

Your thoughts and comments on this ME-P are appreciated. Feel free to review our top-left column, and top-right sidebar materials, links, urls and related websites, too. Then, subscribe to the ME-P. It is fast, free and secure.

Speaker: If you need a moderator or speaker for an upcoming event, Dr. David E. Marcinko; MBA – Publisher-in-Chief of the Medical Executive-Post – is available for seminar or speaking engagements.

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On Financial Psychology and “Money Scripts”

Posted on August 8, 2014 by Dr. David Edward Marcinko MBA MEd CMP™

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What they Are – How they Work?

  • By Brad Klontz PsyD CFP®
  • By Ted Klontz PhD
  • By Eugene Schmuckler PhD MEd MBA CTS
  • By Kenneth Shubin-Stein MD CFA
  • By David Edward Marcinko FACFAS MBA CMP®
  • By Sonya Britt PhD CFP®

Money Scripts are unconscious beliefs about money that are typically only partially true, are developed in childhood, and drive adult financial behaviors.

Money Scripts may be the result of “financial flashpoints,” which are salient early experiences around money that have a lasting impact in adulthood. Money Scripts are often passed down through the generations; and social groups often share similar Money Scripts. The animal brain stores associations around money based on early experiences, which can result in rigid and often problematic money attitudes.

And so, we argue that Money Scripts are at the root of all illogical, ill-advised, self-destructive, or self-limiting financial behaviors.

Money Scripts

The Research

In research at Kansas State University [KSU], researchers identified four distinct Money Script patterns, which are associated with financial health and predict financial behaviors

The 4 Money Scripts

  1. Money Avoidance
  2. Money Worship
  3. Money Status
  4. Money Vigilance

When Money Scripts are identified, it is helpful to examine where they came from. What three lessons did you learn about money from your mother?

Examination

A simple technique involves reflecting on the following questions:

  • What three lessons did you learn about money from your father?
  • What is your first memory around money?
  • What is your most painful money memory?
  • What is your most joyful money memory?
  • What money scripts emerged for you from this experience?
  • How have they helped you?
  • How have they hurt you?
  • What Money Scripts do you need to change?

More: Comprehensive Financial Planning Strategies for Doctors and Advisors: Best Practices from Leading Consultants and Certified Medical Planners™

Conclusion

Your thoughts and comments on this ME-P are appreciated. Feel free to review our top-left column, and top-right sidebar materials, links, URLs and related websites, too. Then, subscribe to the ME-P. It is fast, free and secure.

Speaker: If you need a moderator or speaker for an upcoming event, Dr. David E. Marcinko; MBA – Publisher-in-Chief of the Medical Executive-Post – is available for seminar or speaking engagements. Contact: MarcinkoAdvisors@msn.com

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